First Love
by JaneBaby
Summary: AU! Roy/Ed. Many thought that Edward's first love was Winry .. but what if that's not true?


First Love

An Ed/Roy two-shot.

There are many things i regret and even more things i don't. The regret list is surprisingly short considering the person i am. The first on the list is of course my first sin ; My fucked up brother. But there is only one regret more i have. And that's my first love.

I met him when i was on my lowest. He bought fire back to me , he made me burn , burn , _burn _brighter then i ever had. I breathed , loathed and adored him at once. He was cruel yet caring , cunning yet thoughtful , _irritating son-of-a-bitch _but i loved him. I wanted him , needed him yet i knew i could never have him.

First of all there's the difference between our ranks , our age and the well known fact that he chases every beautiful woman in the town. Why the fuck would he even look at a runt like me , a brat he finds so annoying. He often acted like i was a thorn in hes side but then hes gorgeous black eyes softened i felt like watching into a midnight sky. I always kept looking for stars in hes eyes yet i knew i could never find them. He wasn't that kind of person.

Time passed yet my feelings just grew . I started noticing more and more things about him. How he signed hes paperwork , how he likes hes coffee .. i even knew hes favorite restaurant and what he orders from there when he usually goes there. Always with a gorgeous woman with a beautiful face , long hair and amazing figure. I'm not proud of that period of time , i felt like a stalker on a mission.

Our biggest problem was the gender. We were both males. No one had ever heard of male , male relationships , specially in the army that were accepted. We would of been shunned , rejected. He would never achieve his dream and i would never fix my brother. We were simply not meant to be.

And so we simply coexisted. I yelled , he smirked , gave me an assignment and sent me away. Always further and further like he was sending me away from him.

Same thing over and over.

Yet i loved him. Loved him so much that when he told the whole crew after all the ordeals we had gone though. that he is getting married to Riza , _beautiful and strong Riza Hawkeye _, something broke inside of me. I took a week of vacation and i spent all that time crying and cursing fate. I knew i could never have him yet i hoped , so so hoped he would at least **look** at me once. Yet he never did. So i cried. I came back after a week a new man. Specially considering i had cut my hair short. My hair that had been till mid back ; all gone. People in the office were shocked and Roy - my beauitful Roy looked like the world ended. I had my hair cut the day i took the vacation after it was approved. I had it made into a wig and had given it to a young girl with a sickness that made her bald. She looked absolutely lovely with it , long golden locks. I think i had never seen a girl - a young girl of 12 - cry so much out of happiness. These golden locks were the only thing i actually liked about myself and i felt that if i lose them , getting over HIM would be easier. It never made it easier. All it made me was even more damaged , ugly , scarred.

The day of the wedding was beautiful. Riza looked amazing but she wasn't anywhere close to being as radiant as Roy was on that day. He looked more then amazing. He looked stunning. The contrast of hes black hair and eyes with the white clothes he wore was amazing. And the smile - _god that smile-_ he had on that day. It was so heart-stoppingly beautiful and full of longing that i felt tears threatening to fall. I think a few did but people thought its because i found everything so utterly beautiful. Many had tears in their eyes so no surprise there.

When it got to the moment to say the vow's and he said ' I do' was the moment i realized that he had slipped through my fingers like sand. He now belonged to her and there was nothing i could do. I felt like someone was stabbing , squeezing and mutilating my heart at once yet i did not cry anymore. This was their moment. I was not going to ruin it for them.

As they kissed it was over.

My first love had shattered my heart . I had finally burned bright enough to burn out. All that was left of my heart was ashes.

And that was my first written one-shot ever. I'm not proud of it but i did try. I'd love some critique to know how to write better in the future. This is a two-shot , the second one shot will be through Roy's eyes.


End file.
